1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life, WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40… if it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer you’ve got an electrical problem.