Gentle Thoughts For The Day

- Birds of a feather flock together…and then shit on your car.
- A penny saved is a government oversight.

- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 

- He who hesitates is probably right.

- Did you ever notice: The Roman numerals for forty (40) are  XL?

- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

- The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
- Did you ever notice:  When you put the two words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together they spell ‘Theirs’?

- Aging:  Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 

- Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.  Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mout

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