- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
- No one expects you to run, anywhere.
- People call at 9pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You can eat supper at 4pm.
- You can live without sex but not your glasses.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
- You can’t remember if you sent this list to anyone.
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