The Immortal Words Of Norm

He only needs an introduction of “Norm!”, but in case you where asleep for the 80′s and early 90′s that would be Norm Peterson from “Cheers”, and here are some of his immortal lines.

Woody: Jack Frost nipping at your toes, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Yeah, now let’s get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.
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Sam: What’ll you have Normie?
Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
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Sam: What’s new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.
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Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.
Norm: I know. If she calls, I’m not here
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Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Alright, but stop me at one. Make that one-thirty.
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Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The question is what’s going *in* Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody.
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Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: No, I’d like a dead cat in a glass.
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Norm: I want something light and cold.
Carla: Sorry, it’s Diane’s day off.
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Norm: It’s a dog eat dog world, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.
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Woody: What’s shakin’, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins.
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Norm: Women. You can’t live with ‘em. Pass the beernuts.
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Sam: What are you up to, Norm?
Norm: My ideal weight… if I were 11 feet tall.
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Coach: Norm, how come you and Vera never had any kids?
Norm: I can’t, Coach.
Coach: Gee, I’m sorry Norm.
Norm: I look at Vera. I just can’t.
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Norm: I have, on several occasions, been known to perspire a bit.
Carla: We could grow rice.
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Norm: I thirsty guy walks into a bar… you finish it
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Carla: What are you all sitting around here like a bunch of wimps for?
Norm: It’s what wimps do.
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Coach: How’s life treating you Norm?
Norm: Like it caught me in bed with its wife.
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Coach: How’s life treating you Norm?
Norm: Like I just ran over its dog.
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Cliff: Hey, Norm, What’s up?
Norm: My blood-alcohol level.
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Norm: Boy, I envy Sammy and his carefree lifestyle.
Carla: Yeah.
Norm: Night after night, he dates pretty girls, while I sit here and wrestle with the world’s problems.
Carla: You do not.
Norm: What do you mean? Last night I let out a moan at the thought of nuclear war.
Carla: It wasn’t ‘cuz of nuclear war, it’s cuz we ran out of beer nuts.
Norm: It was a combination of the two
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Woody: What’s up?
Norm: The warranty on my liver.
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Norm: I wish I had time for a hobby.
Cliff: Norm, you’ve got time to make your own coal.
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Norm: Boy oh boy. The thought of Sammy out there, chucking them down. What I wouldn’t give to see that.
Cliff: Norm, it’s only a thirty-dollar train ride.
Norm: Well, that’s what I wouldn’t give.
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Norm: Next to Sammy’s life, my life has always appeared dull. Then again, next to a barnacle’s life, my life has always appeared dull.
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Norm: What’s This Old House?
Frasier: It’s a show on PBS.
Norm: What’s PBS?
Lilith: Tell me you didn’t see that coming a mile away.
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[In the Last Episode]
Norm: You know what I love?
Sam: Beer Norm?
Norm: Sure, I’ll have one.
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Carla: I’m scared. Norm, hold my hand.
[Carla grabs Norm's hand]
Norm: Woods, hold my hand.
[Norm grabs Woody's hand. He looks at his beer, and then his hands]
Norm: Um, Lilith, could you pass me a straw?
………………………………………………………………………….
Everyone: NORM.
Coach: What’s new, Norm?
Norm: I need something to hold me over until my second beer.
Coach: How about a first beer?
Norm: That’ll work.
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Cliff: I have impossibly high standards for a woman.
Norm: Yeah, she has to like you.
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[the bar holds a drawing to decide the night's designated driver]
Carla: And the lucky loser is… Norm Peterson.
Norm: Great, the first time I enter this thing and you can’t pick…
[Norm pulls another slip from the hat]
Norm: Norm Peterson or…
[Norm pulls another slip from the hat]
Norm: Norm Peterson or…
[Norm pulls another slip from the hat]
Norm: Norm Peterson or…
[Norm pulls another slip from the hat]
Norm: Oh, Frasier Crane. At least somebody was honest.
Frasier: I beg your pardon. I wrote “Norm Peterson”.
[Norm looks at the slip again]
Norm: You’re right. I wrote that.
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[Designated driver Norm returns to the bar]
Norm: Beer please.
[Sam slides a beer to Norm, but Carla intercepts it]
Carla: Sorry, Norm. Until the night is over, you’re still our designated driver.
Norm: I know that and you know that, but did you have to call every bar in town and tell them?
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Thomas P. ‘Tip’ O’Neill: Actually, I’m Speaker of the House.
Norm: Hah! That would make you Tip O’Neill, and me…
[recognizes him]
Norm: …a horse’s ass.
Thomas P. ‘Tip’ O’Neill: You said it, not me.
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Woody: What do you say to a cold one, Norm?
Norm: See you later, Vera; I’m going to Cheers.
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Norm: Morning, everybody!
Woody: Beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Little early in the day isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: Little early for a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.
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[the guys play a game of basketball, but Norm's ball won't bounce]
Sam: The ball seems a little low on air, Norm.
Norm: Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve been to the gym. I used to go to the one next to Cheers.
Cliff: There’s no gym next to Cheers.
Norm: I know, they tore it down to build the jewelry store.
Cliff: There’s no jewelry store either.
Norm: I know, they tore that down to build the bank.
Sam: Bank’s been there as long as I can remember.
Norm: Well, there you go
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Thanks to imdb

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