How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice!
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘For Marijuana’.
- Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
- Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-thru order is ‘To Go’.
- Sing along at the opera
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, ‘Run for your lives! They’re Loose!’
- Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
- Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is
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