"Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
- U.S. social media asks: Who is that woman in black?
- Arial, Times New Roman ... and now the 'Hugo Chavez' font
- New York Times Square Spider-Man charged with punching police officer
- Rockies give out shirts honoring Tulowitzki - but spell his name wrong
- Pennsylvania parents locked son in car trunk to cure fear of dark
- Bare burger burglars caught on security camera in Florida
- California woman 'embarrassed' by fallout from doll giving
- Chubby Checker, HP settle lawsuit over penis-measuring app
- Alabama man claims penis was amputated by mistake
- Milwaukee barber sentenced for role in Stradivarius violin theft
We’ve all talked to this guy
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, You have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this ... more
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.. Before the next ... more
To Be 8 Again!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday, ... more
Jokes That Can Be Told In Church
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, ... more
Andy Rooney - Right To Pray
Andy Rooney says: I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin , but I didn't go out ... more
Knowledge Is Knowing And Wisdom Is ...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - anonymous
On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me!
I know there's a joke here about sh*tty job but... (someone help me out!)
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more