"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
I'm not really a bitch, I just play one in your life

I'm Not Really A Bitch, I Just Play On In Your Life

Getting Old - Hearing Aid

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."

Have You Ever Wondered Why ...

Have you ever wondered why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for ... more

Jokes That Can Be Told In Church

A  Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that  teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing  a beat, one little ... more

Mark Twain - Why

"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved." - Mark Twain

I've Got Some More Questions

1. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 2. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 3. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam. 4. I ... more

Standard Pricing Policy

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill.  Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. 'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.  "The only hope left for your loved one at this time ... more
The Barocky Road Ice Cream - half vanilla, half chocolate and surrounded by nuts and flakes.

Barocky Road Ice Cream

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: “ Barocky Road”. Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half ... more
Black female looking for companionship

A Newspaper Singles Ad

This is a singles ad reported to have been in the Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.  I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play.  I ... more

Things Got You Down, Well Consider These ...

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the ... more
white-trash-barbie

Gift Ideas - White Trash Barbie

Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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