"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress."

- Steve Martin

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

It's A Boy!

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy. 'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' The puzzled ... more
Congress would like to thank you for your valuable information, now let's take a short recess so the members can trade stocks

Thanks For Your Valuable Information

Polish Moose Hunt

Two Polish hunters got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we ... more
Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian that makes perfect sense, helping to solve our country's problems

This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!

Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more

Yogi on attendance

"If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them." - Yogi Berra
Nope...this morning feels more like "Occupy Bedsheets"

This Morning Feels More Like "Occupy Bedsheets"

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What Will I Be When I Grow Up?

Barack And Michelle Are At A Cub's Day Game

Sitting in the first row with the Secret Service people directly behind them, one of the Secret Service guys leans forward and says something to the president. Barack stares at the guy, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head violently. The agent then says, "Mr. ... more
Black female looking for companionship

A Newspaper Singles Ad

This is a singles ad reported to have been in the Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.  I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play.  I ... more

3 Year Old Girl Helps Deliver A Baby!

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic was able to respond to a 911 call.  When the paramedic arrived the house was very dark so he asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she ... more
The margarita lady was selling drinks out of a novelty container, making some good income

The Margarita Lady

Lady selling Margaritas on the Beach in a novelty container. She charges $10 a minute. 10 minutes=$100. Reportedly, she is clearing $1250.00 per day... The jobs are out ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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