"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress."

- Steve Martin

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

Why Men Are Happier

(I'm going to say this is definitely a woman's point of view) Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be ... more

Getting Old – Wheelchair Ride

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat ... more

Pack Your Bags, I Won The Lottery!

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she ... more

Farm Kid Writing Home From Marine Boot Camp

Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I am getting ... more

Harry S Truman - Advice

"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day." - Harry S Truman

Mark Twain - The Government

"We have the best government that money can buy." - Mark Twain
Congress would like to thank you for your valuable information, now let's take a short recess so the members can trade stocks

Thanks For Your Valuable Information

The Green Bay Packers vs. Obama

After the Packers/Bills game, Buffalo released quarterback Trent Edwards. During the Packers/Eagles game, the Packers injured Philadelphia quarterback Kevin Kolb and they had to play backup Michael Vick. During a playoff game against the Eagles, the Packers injured Michael Vick and a backup ... more
A lot of people can not understand how we came to have an oil shortage in this country

Simple Answer Why We Have An Oil Shortage In The U.S.

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just ... more
Whats does the Surgeon General say

And The Surgeon General Says …

Make sure you read the print! This is where Bill Engvall says, "Here's your sign".

The Cajun Hackberry Rural Township Volunteer Fire Company

One dark night outside of Westlake, a small town in Louisiana, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the five departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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