Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

- Anonymous

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
us_military_love_them_they_are_ours_9

They Fight For Us And Keep A Sense Of Humor!

Moose hunting in Maine

Moose Hunting In Maine

Coolest homemade costumes - coolest homeless child costume - will work for candy

Will Work For Candy

I was wondering where my sign went
fridge magnet

Fridge Magnet

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

(No I didn't fall asleep at the keyboard when typing this title) The Humuhumunukunukuapua'a is Hawaii's state fish; the name means "triggerfish with a pig-like short snout".  For short you can call it humuhumu (Why isn't short humu?  Why isn't short humu?).

I Hate When My Foot Falls Asleep

"I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night." - Steven Wright
Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian that makes perfect sense, helping to solve our country's problems

This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!

Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more

Obama And The Undertaker

Obama goes on a State visit to Israel.  While he is on a tour of Jerusalem, he has a fatal heart attack. The undertaker tells the US diplomats: "You can have him shipped home for $1 million or you can bury him here in the Holy Land for $100". The US diplomats go into a huddle and come back ... more

Texas Has Compiled A Translation Of 'Californian To Texan'

Texas has compiled a translation of "Californian to Texan" . CALIFORNIA TEXAS Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection Delicate Wetlands Swamp Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment Heavily ... more

The Cajun Hackberry Rural Township Volunteer Fire Company

One dark night outside of Westlake, a small town in Louisiana, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the five departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the ... more
My wife always wanted a riding lawnmower, so I made her one.

For Sale - Riding Lawnmower - Cheap!

My Wife always wanted a riding lawn mower. She works all day and was always tired when she came home from work and thought that a riding lawn mower would help her get the yard work ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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