"Sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy."
- Steve Martin
- Australia bars entry to Vietnamese woman for failing to declare raw pork
- Supertyphoon Hagibis gives new wind to Philippine disco band
- Squirrels' stash of winter walnuts causes car chaos
- A 70-year-old biking grandmother conquers Bolivia's 'Death Road'
- Owners present pets to Philippines priest for blessing
- Italian astronaut to watch World Cup match from space
- China's 'national flag baby' raises flag, captivates millions
- Loo and behold! Japan's high-tech toilets bemuse fans
- From tree to chair without the carpentry: UK couple grows furniture
- Alien enthusiasts descend on Nevada desert near secretive U.S. base
Saving The Economy
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry ... more
A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused by asses who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks, and crap like ... more
Now I Go To Church Every Saturday And Sunday!
And for your Atheist friends who celebrate Christmas, these make a great stocking stuffer! Order now. No seriously, click the picture to order now!
It Isn't Cold In Michigan Until The Lions Win A SuperBowl
65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Michigan plant gardens. 60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Michigan sunbathe. 50 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Michigan drive with the windows down.. 40 above zero: Georgians ... more
Bukowski - I Don't Like Jail
"I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there." - Charles Bukowski
I Hate When My Foot Falls Asleep
"I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night." - Steven Wright
The Pope And Obama Are On The Same Stage
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more