"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

Obama And The Undertaker

Obama goes on a State visit to Israel.  While he is on a tour of Jerusalem, he has a fatal heart attack. The undertaker tells the US diplomats: "You can have him shipped home for $1 million or you can bury him here in the Holy Land for $100". The US diplomats go into a huddle and come back ... more
The Obama Presidential Library has already been built and filled!

Obama Presidential Library Already Built - And Filled!

We usually shop in the comfort of our own home but the bloody computer crashed

We Usually Shop In The Comfort Of Our Own Home

We are 52 light-years from home and now you tell me that you think you left the stove on?

So We're 52 Light-Years From Home...And Now...

Amazingly enough I don't give a shit!

Amazingly Enough I Don't Give A Shit!

We Didn't Have This Green Thing Back Then

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't  have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk  responded, ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three ... more

A Note From A Police Officer In Texas

I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don't care about others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows "not all cops are in that category". This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX. which reported ... more
I am going to be an ironman

I'm Training For An Ironman

The best duct tape story ever!  What a pilot did to a plane after a bear attacked it.

The Best Duct Tape Story Ever!

During a private fly-in fishing excursion into the Alaskan wilderness, the chartered pilot and fishermen left a cooler with bait in the plane. A bear smelled it. This is what it did ... more
Christmas decorating the easy way

Easy Christmas Lights

Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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