Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.
- Bug business: Cockroaches corralled by the millions in China to crunch waste
- Enter the Bull: Fighters mix kung fu and bullfighting in China
- Cops seek suitor who dropped engagement ring down NYC grating
- Air New Zealand Christmas ad replicates Trump's U.N. laughter moment
- Thais pray they're barking up the right tree looking for lottery luck
- Who brings olive oil to Portugal? Police foil cocaine smuggler's ploy
- Darts-Players let rip in flatulence row at Grand Slam of Darts
- Japan cybersecurity and Olympics minister: 'I've never used a computer'
- Soccer: Referee banned by FA after rock, paper, scissors blunder
- 'Frog ladders' help critters escape death-trap drains
Will Work For Candy
I was wondering where my sign went
(No I didn't fall asleep at the keyboard when typing this title) The Humuhumunukunukuapua'a is Hawaii's state fish; the name means "triggerfish with a pig-like short snout". For short you can call it humuhumu (Why isn't short humu? Why isn't short humu?).
I Hate When My Foot Falls Asleep
"I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night." - Steven Wright
This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!
Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more
Obama And The Undertaker
Obama goes on a State visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem, he has a fatal heart attack. The undertaker tells the US diplomats: "You can have him shipped home for $1 million or you can bury him here in the Holy Land for $100". The US diplomats go into a huddle and come back ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more