"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
- Mark Twain
- Eat it: Hanoi chef spreads joy with 'Coronaburger'
- Who let the dogs out? A few Spaniards defy coronavirus lockdown
- British vicar catches fire waiting for God's answer
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- Cats, PJs, alien eyes unwelcome as work video calling boom prompts new etiquette
- Hedge fund manager apologizes for wiping saliva on Hong Kong metro rail
- Somalis turn to Dr Hyena to fight depression, mental illness
- Waiter, there's a fly in my waffle: Belgian researchers try out insect butter
- Biting passengers on flight is no reason for cash compensation delay: EU court adviser
- Daredevil 'Mad Mike' Hughes dies in crash of his homemade rocket in California
The Pope And Obama Are On The Same Stage
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep ... more
You Know You're To Old To Trick Or Treat When...
And don't forget Top Ten Reasons Why Seniors Shouldn't Trick or Treat 10. You keep on knocking on your own front door. 9. You remove your false teeth to change your ... more
Will Work For Candy
I was wondering where my sign went
We Didn't Have This Green Thing Back Then
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, ... more
Something To Remember - Not All Thieves Are Stupid
Something to consider if you have a GPS: A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen ... more
In The Year 2011 The Lord Came Unto Noah...
In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans' He gave Noah ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more