Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - anonymous
Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

It Ain't Easy Being Truthful And Honest

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."  She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am.  Fried chicken is my favorite animal.  I told ... more

Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife, and ... more

Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex

#10... A below par performance is considered damn good. #9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers. #8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot. #7... Foursomes are encouraged. #6... You can still make money doing it as a senior. #5... Three ... more
In retrospect Howard should have taken the raise instead of asking for his own cubicle

In Retrospect, Howard Should Have Taken The Raise

Andy-Rooney

Andy Rooney - Right To Pray

Andy Rooney says: I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin , but I didn't go out ... more

You Know You're A True Michigander Eh

"Vacation" means going up north on I-75. You measure distance in hours. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. You see ... more

The Priest's Retirement Dinner

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, since the politician was delayed, the Priest decided to say his own ... more

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my ... more
Men can fix anything

Men Can Fix Anything!

A Quiz For Bright People

This is a quiz for people who know everything!   I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.. 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ... more
Magic Green Hat

Magic Green Hat

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my Magic Green Hat. When I went into the ER, I noticed that 3/4 of the people got ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

All Articles