"It's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear"

- Norm ("Cheers")

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

Little Johnny Said...

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he decided to again be different. Little Johnny ... more

Why Won't They Put Obama On A Stamp?

Nobody will know which side to spit on!
I know I've said this before, but I wish I could lose some weight.  Well too bad bitching doesn't burn calories

I Really Wish I Could Lose Some Weight

Weather Alert: Big snowfall on the way

Weather Alert: Big Snowfall On The Way!

The Well Mannered Elderly Woman From The South

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had ... more

Did you know? Thomas Edison Invented Wax Paper

Dear Abby

Dear Abby, My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up ... more

Five Parachutes And Four Passengers

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Sarah Palin said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest woman in American history, so America ’s people don’t want me to die.” She took the first pack and jumped out of ... more

Who Says State Troopers Don't Have A Sense Of Humor

Montana State Trooper In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single digits or below.  About 3AM one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder ... more

A Young Arab Asks His Father ...

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?" The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun." "And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man. "It's a 'djbellah' because in the ... more
Black female looking for companionship

A Newspaper Singles Ad

This is a singles ad reported to have been in the Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.  I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play.  I ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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