"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

The Pope And Obama Are On The Same Stage

The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep ... more
A scary pumpkin, no, how 'bout pissed pumpkin.  You know you're to old to Trick or Treat when...

You Know You're To Old To Trick Or Treat When...

And don't forget Top Ten Reasons Why Seniors Shouldn't Trick or Treat 10. You keep on knocking on your own front door. 9. You remove your false teeth to change your ... more
The Pee G.A.

The Pee G.A.

Coolest homemade costumes - coolest homeless child costume - will work for candy

Will Work For Candy

I was wondering where my sign went

We Didn't Have This Green Thing Back Then

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't  have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk  responded, ... more

Something To Remember - Not All Thieves Are Stupid

Something to consider if you have a GPS:  A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen ... more
Hydrogen Barackside

Hydrogen Barackside - Kills Jobs On Contact

In The Year 2011 The Lord Came Unto Noah...

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans' He gave Noah ... more
Not just for Halloween!  Dallas Cowboys cheerleader costume

Not Just For Halloween! Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader

Adult Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader
This can be classified as Green Cooking, Thanks Global Warming, Sheer Ingenious or You Can Tell You're A Redneck if...

Is It Green Cooking, Multi-Tasking, Ingenious Or Redneck?

Maybe it's all of the above (title)... Thanks to a global-warming-is-bs non-knowing ingenious Redneck this idea helps initiate both Green Cooking and Ideas For Mom's On The Go and also ... more
best google ad

Google Knows How To Advertise!

Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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