[On seeing a Steve McQueen movie] "He must have made that before he died."

- Yogi Berra

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

Jokes That Can Be Told In Church

At  Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told  him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the  week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she  said, ... more
Seniors need extra cash?  Sell your unused medications

Seniors Need Extra Cash?

At dawn we ride!

At Dawn We Ride

Todays Art class lesson - How To Draw An Owl.  1. First draw some circles. 2. Then draw the rest of the fucking owl.

Today's Art Class Lesson - How To Draw An Owl

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years."  He said, "That's a mirror, dipshit!"

That's Us In Ten Years

Mark Twain - The Funeral

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

Do You Do It Immigrant Style?

An illegal immigrant spotted a hooker. "Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asked. "$100," she replied. In broken English, he said, "Do you do immigrant style?" "No", she replied. "I pay you $200 to do immigrant style." "No," she said, not knowing what immigrant ... more

Latenight Political Humor

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate. America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.   - Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to ... more

God Loves Drunk People Too

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to ... more

Ted Turner Proposes One-Child Policy - Because Of Global Warming!

I'll speculate here that most people have an opinion on global warming; whether it was a bandwagon for celebrities to jump on, an idea to capitalize on, or a reality, Ted Turner has his own ideas on this subject. You can read Ted Turner Proposes One-Child Policy, China Expert Responds with Facts ... more
Ideas for your dogs Halloween costume.  This is why you got a dog?

Halloween Has Gone To The Dogs

Ideas for your dogs Halloween costume(s)!
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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