"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
Haven't you ever see a chicken shit?

Haven't You Ever Seen A Chicken Sh#t?

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Deer Camp

Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Boudreaux’s wife Clotile puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Boudreaux's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping ... more

Over Qualified To Pick Lemons?

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual ... more
Its my car now, but as soon as it's fixed it'll be my daughters again

It'll Be My Daughter's Again

Next Time You Have A Bad Day At Work...

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she ... more
Fuck this shit, I'll be a stripper

Fuck This Shit, I'll Be A Stripper

A graph of Jobs going down, down, down.  It also doubles as Obamas approval rating!

It Doubles As Your Approval Rating

The White House Gardener Was Fired

It had just been reported that the head gardener at The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to many US presidents. When interviewed the gardener protested his innocence and said, "All I did was go into the Oval Office and ask, Has anyone seen the spade and hoe?"

Texas Has Compiled A Translation Of 'Californian To Texan'

Texas has compiled a translation of "Californian to Texan" . CALIFORNIA TEXAS Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection Delicate Wetlands Swamp Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment Heavily ... more

A Christmas Divorce - A Must Read If You Have Grown Children!

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York two days before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your holiday, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of ... more
Magic Green Hat

Magic Green Hat

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my Magic Green Hat. When I went into the ER, I noticed that 3/4 of the people got ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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