"A hangover is just God's way of saying you kicked ass last night" - anonymous
Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
Anthony's pretty roommate Maria

Anthony's Italian Mother, MaMa, comes to dinner...

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty ... more
Netflix to include puppies with new releases

Netflix To Include Puppies With New Releases

Super Funny – Cause Unfortunately It’s True!

A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor says, "That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking ... more

Grandpa And The Viagra Tablet

There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom. When he returned, however, his trousers were wet all over. "What happened, ... more
Fuck this shit, I'll be a stripper

Fuck This Shit, I'll Be A Stripper

Mark Twain - Women

"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce." - Mark Twain

New Senior Health Care Plan

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three ... more

In The Year 2011 The Lord Came Unto Noah...

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans' He gave Noah ... more
Whats does the Surgeon General say

And The Surgeon General Says …

Make sure you read the print! This is where Bill Engvall says, "Here's your sign".
Obama is a presented with a plaque with his new Indian name 'Walking Eagle'

President Obama's New Indian Name 'Walking Eagle'

President Obama was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing ... more

!Warning! New Warning Just Released!

NEW DRINKING WARNING JUST RELEASED: Vodka & ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum & ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey & ice will ruin your heart. Gin & ice will ruin your brain. Coke & ice will ruin your teeth. Apparently ice is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice ~ Just drink it straight!! ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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