"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
You're Fat

You're Fat And Don't Try To Sugar Coat It You'll Eat That Too

indian-with-bow-and-arrow

Five Horses

This is mythical and deep ... truly beautiful .... A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She called Five Horses". The man said, "That's ... more

Survey Says

A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused by asses who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks, and crap like ... more
trunk-monkey-road-rage

Trunk Monkey

I didn't realize a dose of reality had so many adverse side effects!

I Didn't Realize

Dust if you must

Dust If You Must

Ladies Remember .... a layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it. A house becomes a home when you can write "I love you' on the furniture".     I used to spend ... more
Thanksgiving protest marred by splintering turkey factions.  Gingrich's child-janitors idea would cost schools billions.  Pepper spraying UC-Davis officer to star in new sitcom with Reba McEntire.

Thanksgiving Protest Marred By Splintering Turkey Factions

Super Funny – Cause Unfortunately It’s True!

A Japanese doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor says, "That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking ... more

I'll Have A Half Dozen Nuggets

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was ... more
I-accidently-pushed-the-accelerator-instead-of-the-brake

Letter From The Wife - I Love The P.S.

To my darling  husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let  you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the ... more
Not just for Halloween!  Dallas Cowboys cheerleader costume

Not Just For Halloween! Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader

Adult Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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