"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
Thanksgiving protest marred by splintering turkey factions.  Gingrich's child-janitors idea would cost schools billions.  Pepper spraying UC-Davis officer to star in new sitcom with Reba McEntire.

Thanksgiving Protest Marred By Splintering Turkey Factions

"I Do" is the longest sentence in the English Language

"I Do" Is The Longest Sentence In The English Language

 
Any final last words? ... Well now that you mention it, I seem to recall him saying Out of the way Ol' Timer the cheese is mine!

Any Final Last Words?

The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass!

The Older I Get ...

Cheech and Chong finklesteinshitkid from 'Up In Smoke'

Remembering family discussions

I've Got Some More Questions

1. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 2. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 3. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam. 4. I ... more
Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian that makes perfect sense, helping to solve our country's problems

This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!

Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more

My Awesome New Truck

I bought a new Chevy Avalanche and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. 'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?' 'Willie!' he continued and 'On The ... more
The best duct tape story ever!  What a pilot did to a plane after a bear attacked it.

The Best Duct Tape Story Ever!

During a private fly-in fishing excursion into the Alaskan wilderness, the chartered pilot and fishermen left a cooler with bait in the plane. A bear smelled it. This is what it did ... more
Men can fix anything

Men Can Fix Anything!

A Different Type Of Football Pool!

A friend of ours gets in on a football pool at a local bar, but this isn't the standard type where you bet on the outcome of a game, with this pool you bet on which NFL team will have the first player arrested. When our friend first joined the pool, he made his pick and placed his money.  A ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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