"Golf is a good walk spoiled"

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

Have You Ever Wondered Why ...

Have you ever wondered why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for ... more

Jokes That Can Be Told In Church

A  Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child  replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'

The South

Tennessee The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how ... more

Ass-holes for Sale

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their "soon-to-be" new store.  As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.  One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling." No ... more
Note to self!  Don't take a laxative and sleeping pills the same night!

Don't Take A Laxative And Sleeping Pills The Same Night!

They might be young, but they know how to train Mommy!

How To Train A Mommy!

air force one invisibility cloak

Thinking Out Side The Box

Air Force General: Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One. Obama: No Way? General: That's right, sir, the plane will be invisible. Will you ... more

New Senior Health Care Plan

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three ... more

I Have Always Wanted To Have My Family History Traced

Dear Freeduh, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? Sam in California Dear Sam, Register as a Republican, and run for office. Freeduh

Texas Has Compiled A Translation Of 'Californian To Texan'

Texas has compiled a translation of "Californian to Texan" . CALIFORNIA TEXAS Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection Delicate Wetlands Swamp Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment Heavily ... more
queen of the blondes

Queen Of The Blondes

Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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