"My toughest fight was with my first wife." - Muhammad Ali
- Horses throw toads to win quirky British pub championship
- Marx birthplace cashes in on 0 euro notes for anniversary
- 'No to sex on roundabouts', Norway tells high school graduates
- You want tarantula with that? At U.S. burger joint, it's an option
- Singing road strikes wrong chord with Dutch villagers
- Japanese man, 112, recognized as world's oldest male
- Chinese aviation buff builds full-scale Airbus replica
- Temasek stake values 'Salt Bae' Turkish restaurant owner at $1.2 billion
- UK Wife Carrying champ beats the mud to win place in world final
- Far from war, Basra's cats lap it up in their own hotel
Now For Something Very Dirty!
Ralph walks into a store. He says to a salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper." She says, "What color?" He says, "Give me white, I'll color it myself."
Tennessee The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how ... more
To Be 8 Again!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday, ... more
Mark Twain - A Rule
"I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time." - Mark Twain
Over Qualified To Pick Lemons?
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual ... more
Five Parachutes And Four Passengers
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Sarah Palin said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest woman in American history, so America ’s people don’t want me to die.” She took the first pack and jumped out of ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more