"Sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy."

- Steve Martin

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

Saving The Economy

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry ... more

Survey Says

A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused by asses who drink bottled water, Starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks, and crap like ... more
Believe in God breath spray.  Surrender yourself to a higher power and never feel alone again

Now I Go To Church Every Saturday And Sunday!

And for your Atheist friends who celebrate Christmas, these make a great stocking stuffer! Order now.  No seriously, click the picture to order now!

It Isn't Cold In Michigan Until The Lions Win A SuperBowl

65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Michigan plant gardens. 60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Michigan sunbathe. 50 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Michigan drive with the windows down.. 40 above zero: Georgians ... more

Bukowski - I Don't Like Jail

"I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there." - Charles Bukowski

I Hate When My Foot Falls Asleep

"I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night." - Steven Wright

The Pope And Obama Are On The Same Stage

The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep ... more
Sign on Obama's office chair, "Gone Fund Raising".

Gone Fund Raising

This can be classified as Green Cooking, Thanks Global Warming, Sheer Ingenious or You Can Tell You're A Redneck if...

Is It Green Cooking, Multi-Tasking, Ingenious Or Redneck?

Maybe it's all of the above (title)... Thanks to a global-warming-is-bs non-knowing ingenious Redneck this idea helps initiate both Green Cooking and Ideas For Mom's On The Go and also ... more

John Smith Started His Day ...

John Smith started the day early having set his alarmclock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE ... more
If woman controlled the world

If Women Controlled The World

Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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