"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
- Douglas Adams
- Fed's George to send BBQ sauce to San Francisco Fed chief after Giants win
- Police led to Alabama drug suspect by his dog
- Man who vanished from Denver NFL game said he 'had his fill of football'
- Mouse hunt delays Norwegian flight to New York
- Britain's 'Naked Rambler' loses legal battle to reveal all
- Florida man shoots 400-pound bear breaking into his house
- Thousands raised to buy car for Pennsylvania sniper's lookalike
- Romanian princess, husband sentenced for Oregon cockfighting ring
- Woman who gouged her eyes in California sues over viral photo
- San Francisco stations banish 'Royals' song ahead of World Series
GOP Leaders Still Searching For Any Remaining Candidate
Highlights from the Bad Reporter: - GOP LEADERS STILL SEARCHING FOR ANY REMAINING CANDIDATES. Soiled wrapper at bottom 'still undecided'. Flattered, will make decision very ... more
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." -------------------------- In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." -------------------------- On a Septic Tank Truck:: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels -------------------------- At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite ... more
I've Got Some Questions
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does ... more
Don't Despair, Spring Is Only 5 Months Away!
For those of you who don't live in Florida, don't despair, spring is only 5 months away! Enjoy this video while you're waiting...
This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!
Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more
Do You Do It Immigrant Style?
An illegal immigrant spotted a hooker. "Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asked. "$100," she replied. In broken English, he said, "Do you do immigrant style?" "No", she replied. "I pay you $200 to do immigrant style." "No," she said, not knowing what immigrant ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more