"Sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy."

- Steve Martin

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

The Old Hollywood Squares Humor

If you remember the Original  Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, ... more


Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished! It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who ... more

New Direction For Any War

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. ... more
Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants that way when you do

About Your Pants...

What kind of best friend would remove your testicles

What Kind Of Best Friend Would Remove Your Testicles

A Few "True-isms"

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, the tougher it is ... more
air force one invisibility cloak

Thinking Out Side The Box

Air Force General: Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One. Obama: No Way? General: That's right, sir, the plane will be invisible. Will you ... more

Why Won't They Put Obama On A Stamp?

Nobody will know which side to spit on!

9-1-1 What Is Your Emergency?

These are Memphis, TN's REAL 911 Calls! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an ... more

The Immortal Words Of Norm

He only needs an introduction of "Norm!", but in case you where asleep for the 80's and early 90's that would be Norm Peterson from "Cheers", and here are some of his immortal lines. Woody: Jack Frost nipping at your toes, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Yeah, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my ... more
The margarita lady was selling drinks out of a novelty container, making some good income

The Margarita Lady

Lady selling Margaritas on the Beach in a novelty container. She charges $10 a minute. 10 minutes=$100. Reportedly, she is clearing $1250.00 per day... The jobs are out ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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