"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Douglas Adams

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
air force one invisibility cloak

Thinking Out Side The Box

Air Force General: Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One. Obama: No Way? General: That's right, sir, the plane will be invisible. Will you ... more
Jobs not only missed the turn but ditched in a snowbank

Jobs Missed The Turn And Then Some

Jokes That Can Be Told In Church

A  Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child  replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'

A Wish To Live Forever

I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!" "Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses." "You crafty bastard," said the ... more

Wine Improves With Age

"Wine improves with age: the older I get, the better I like it" - Anonymous

Mark Twain - Remain Silent

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

Why Are Politicians So Expensive?

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.... + Tourist: $8.00 + Broiled Missionary: $10.00 + Fried Explorer: $12.50 + Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The ... more
Jobs not only missed the turn but ditched in a snowbank

Jobs Missed The Turn And Then Some

A prayer for grandpa

A Prayer For Grandpa

Dear God, Please send clothes for all those women on Grandpa's computer.
shit-does-float

I Guess Sh#t Does Float!

Cletus and Roscoe have a few questions

Cletus And Roscoe Have A Few Questions

Cletus and Roscoe have a few questions ... Question #1: How much does a house weigh? Question #2: How much can a rural two lane bridge hold? Questions #3: Would this be ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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