"If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later."
- Mark Twain
- Texas man shoots armadillo, gets hit in face by bullet ricochet
- Wild turkey sparks hunt for angry bird at University of Michigan
- Stowaway cat 'Lucky' to be alive in sunken boat
- Ohio man must spend two days in jail for petting zoo cougars
- Fugitive-turned-actor arrested after U.S. Marshals read film write-up
- Lion sighted in Milwaukee, police close streets in area
- San Francisco combats the stench of urine with pee-repellant paint
- Canada's top court finally ends decades-old contamination case
- Dog shot in Milwaukee following reports of lion on the prowl
- Dracula wants your blood: for Transylvania music gig
A Blonde's Car Gets A Flat Tire ...
A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike ... more
Nurses Aren't Suppose To Laugh
"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA ... more
Little Johnny To The Rescue – Warning! This Is Hilarious
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?' When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny, who was her friend ... more
Copper Wire Historical Discoveries!
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, a California archaeologist ... more
Don't Despair, Spring Is Only 5 Months Away!
For those of you who don't live in Florida, don't despair, spring is only 5 months away! Enjoy this video while you're waiting...
More Perks To Getting Old!
There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. No one expects you to run, anywhere. People call at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. You no longer think of speed ... more
The Pope And Obama Are On The Same Stage
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep ... more
GOP Leaders Still Searching For Any Remaining Candidate
Highlights from the Bad Reporter: - GOP LEADERS STILL SEARCHING FOR ANY REMAINING CANDIDATES. Soiled wrapper at bottom 'still undecided'. Flattered, will make decision very ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more