Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - anonymous
Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?

More Perks To Getting Old!

There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. No one expects you to run, anywhere. People call at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. You no longer think of speed ... more

Choosing A Wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new ... more
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Say Fire Truck

Saving The Economy

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry ... more
hen_laying_on_puppy

Amazing Animal Pictures To Enjoy!

Grandma Was Run Over By A Reindeer, But We Ate Dasher For Lunch

This might put us on Santa's naughty list ... actually come to think of it we've always been lumped in with the coal kids. Hey Santa! Paybacks a bitch! Try this recipe for Sauteed Reindeer or as they call it in Finland, Poronkaristys, it's good to the Finnish and tastes like ... more
Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian that makes perfect sense, helping to solve our country's problems

This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!

Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my ... more

A Gift For My Wife

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion ... more

9-1-1 What Is Your Emergency?

These are Memphis, TN's REAL 911 Calls! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an ... more

Proof Readeng Is A Dyeing Art

Headlines from the news: Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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