"I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping."

- Mark Twain

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
5 pieces of candy for the whole neighborhood?  Home foreclosures

5 Pieces Of Candy For The Whole Neighborhood?

Canada Pension

Having reached the age of 60, I went to apply for Canada Pension last week. After waiting in line for a very long time, I finally got to the counter. The clerk requested the necessary papers to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized, to my great dismay, that I had left my wallet ... more

Email Virus

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1970. Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. done that! 2. Causes you to send a ... more

The Older We Get ...

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, ... more

Facebook and remembering the old days

I was just reminiscing about the old days ... I just started using Facebook (yes I know late to being in the in-crowd), anyways I have messages posted on my wall (if that's the proper lingo), and I was remembering the old days when we posted messages on the public restrooms stalls ... 'For a ... more

People Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel... The Blue Rose

Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went. I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout ... more
Sign on Obama's office chair, "Gone Fund Raising".

Gone Fund Raising

A Note From A Police Officer In Texas

I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don't care about others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows "not all cops are in that category". This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX. which reported ... more
Biggie the BareEyed Cuckatoo - I can talk can you fly

I Can Talk, Can You Fly?

Effective Canadian speed control

Canadian Speed Control

How is this for effective speed control? I don't know about you, but this would slow me down! People slow down and actually try to straddle these. This is cheaper than radar ... more
The margarita lady was selling drinks out of a novelty container, making some good income

The Margarita Lady

Lady selling Margaritas on the Beach in a novelty container. She charges $10 a minute. 10 minutes=$100. Reportedly, she is clearing $1250.00 per day... The jobs are out ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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