"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."
- Mark Twain
- From Covfefe to Hollyweed: Weird news grabs headlines in 2017
- Two American tourists fined in Thailand for 'butt selfie' at temple
- Abominable news: Purported yeti evidence came from bears, dog
- Flipping lids! Chinese barber offers eyelid shaves
- Finland baker launches bread made from crushed crickets
- British embassy cat in Jordan appointed chief mouser
- U.S. Navy crew grounded after pilot draws penis in the sky
- Finnish police rap deputy minister for hiding in car boot in government crisis
- I went to Brazil for a bath, says McLaren reserve Norris
- 'No cash, Carney?' Bank of England Governor unable to find wallet
This Makes Sense - Let's Get 'Er Done!
Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian, but if you listen to what he says, it makes sense! Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in our Country lately: Illegal ... more
New Senior Health Care Plan
So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three ... more
A Blonde's Car Gets A Flat Tire ...
A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike ... more
Mark Twain - The Funeral
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
Why Are Politicians So Expensive?
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.... + Tourist: $8.00 + Broiled Missionary: $10.00 + Fried Explorer: $12.50 + Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The ... more
Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more
Definition Of A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more
Amazing Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more
New Senior Health Plan
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more
A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more
Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more