"Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything."

- Steve Martin

Kodak is being demolished.  My parents had an instamatic I'll send them a picture!We found that your child does not interact well with mobile devicesLio has Show and Tell today at school!That's odd... the weather called for no cloudsMitt Romney tax problems is that he's mostly in stocksIs that shredded carrots on the front of your jacket?
GOP Leaders still searching for any remaining candidates.  GOP's 'Occupy Sesame Street' protests intensifying

GOP Leaders Still Searching For Any Remaining Candidate

Highlights from the Bad Reporter: - GOP LEADERS STILL SEARCHING FOR ANY REMAINING CANDIDATES. Soiled wrapper at bottom 'still undecided'. Flattered, will make decision very ... more

A Cardiologists Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that ... more

A Polish Immigrant Went To The DMZ ...

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters, 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know ... more
Giddy up!  Whoo hoo!

Jumping On The Bed

A fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.  Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, ... more
Financial planning.  In the long term: the car is cheaper

Financial Planning

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family  business.     When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father ... more

Rrriiiiinnnggg, Rrriiiiinnnggg

Phone ringing... "Hello?" "Hi Honey, this is Daddy, is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe." After a brief pause ... Daddy replies, "But Honey, you haven't got an Uncle Gabe." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right ... more
How much longer on your 'Occupy Bathroom Movement'?

How Much Longer On Your 'Occupy Bathroom Movement'?

The Priest's Retirement Dinner

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, since the politician was delayed, the Priest decided to say his own ... more

New Alzheimers Test

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it! 1.    This is this cat. 2.    This is is cat. ... more

John Smith Started His Day ...

John Smith started the day early having set his alarmclock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE ... more

Time To Think ... Four Questions Plus A Bonus

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.  They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly. To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time, but instead, answer each of ... more
Lio is so excited it's snowing that the only sound he makes is, Kloon!

A Nod Is As Good As A Wink To A Blind Man

Deer Hunting by Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last ... more

Definition Of A Real Woman

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he ... more

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Men: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood ... more

New Senior Health Plan

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of ... more

A Father Reflected On How Sweet And Innocent His Little Girl Was…

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking ... more

Three Contractors Bidding On A Government Job

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Montana. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The ... more
Daddy how was I born?

Daddy, How Was I Born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born ?" The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got ... more
For the Christmas Season remember - Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean... against chairs, tables, walls, floors, and ugly people!

For The Christmas Season Remember!

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